(Shobhaa De is an established writer, columnist, opinion shaper and social commentator, who is considered an authority on popular culture.)So, who is the real 'khubsoorat' in the movie....Any guesses? You've got it! It's a slim, bearded bloke from across the border. Same chap who has reduced the women on both sides to wobbling blobs of jello...haiiiiii...those eyes, that stare, the reluctant smile, the twisted mouth...and oooof - hair with a life of its own.
So, here's the deal. We are going to seriously 'objectify' the hunk from Lahore by giving him the full royal treatment. He can keep his sherwani on, of course. But no harm in opening the top three gold buttons to display a few chest hairs. Well, in the movie we get to see lots more of the skinny hero who must have been on a low fat diet for most of his adult life. Does anyone care about his patli kamar? Naaah! He's as yummy as those irresistible Lahori kebabs, and desi ladies want him. Jaisey bhi! Afsos ki baat yeh hai, ki he is married and a father to Ayaan... but, in our collective fantasy, we don't bother about such faltu, real life details. We will behave like ... like... Manju (Kirron Kher) in the movie and shamelessly drool each time Fawad takes in his breath and intones the royal "Hum..."
The thing about the 33 year-old singer, actor, model, fashion designer (he runs a clothing brand called Silk, with his wife), is his intensity. We have had enough of our chikna heroes (always 'boys', never men!), squinting into the camera or displaying their wretched, computer generated 6/8 pack bare bods in every second film. Even at close to 50, our chaps refuse to grow up. Please! It's about time they did. Fawad comes to us nicely packaged (compact chap, no abs, no biceps)... and unambiguously adult. Hurrah! Finally, a hero who we can count on to be more responsible than a kindergarten bachcha during a crisis. Perhaps it was the role. Perhaps it's Fawad. But think about it - he plays Yuvraj Vikram Rathore, a tight-assed royal. He is a real pain in the butt to start with, but then stuck with a clumsy, giggly 'physiotherapist' who constantly trips over herself, one can understand his predicament. None of these absurdities matter when Fawad is on screen. His caramel eyes can melt errr.... me, for example! I heard young things in the theatre comparing Fawad to a Magnum (a choco-stick ice cream that has to be slowly licked to ummm...get maximum pleasure). Another girl said, "No no no... Magnum is a commercially produced, mass consumption product. Fawad is more ... is more... let me think... yes, Fawad is like Sucre de Terre - a limited edition artisanal ice cream with an unusual, exotic flavor." Whichever way it goes, fans have decided he is the yummiest, most sinful treat in town...forget calories. And, yes it isn't just his ditsy heroine who harbours 'gandi gandi' thoughts about Fawad - we all do! How disgusting is that?
So, what do we do with Fawad, now that we have fully converted him into a pin-up? Such is the Fawad fever raging across India, the Pakistani actor can easily claim the top spot, if not at the box office, then in our hard hearts. Khoobsurat has collected a respectable Rs 30 million in 3 days after it was released in Pakistan. The slightly silly movie isn't as big a hit in India... but he is! Now all he has to do to grab headlines is to declare he is feeling 'violated' by the attention. It's okay, Fawad. Be a sport. In India we like carrying top angle shots of our stars... so please don't button up that velvet sherwani just yet. All the Manjus in India will cry with disappointment if you did that. Hang on to the beard, too. It really suits you. Errr.... please don't mind us if a few funny pictures appear here and there, with red circles around your body parts. Trust me, in India those are meant as compliments! In case you still feel upset, you are free to tweet...
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