Blog: Ours Was India's First Gay Marriage. What Is So Wrong About It?

I married my husband in December 2017, in a religious ceremony in India. Gay marriages are not really defined in the country. No one could arrest me as I did not violate any law. Nor could anyone give me marriage benefits. I came back to California and married my husband legally. That marriage is still not recognized in India. So, the gay marriage case being heard by the Supreme Court of India is very important.

After our marriage was covered in the news by NDTV and many others, it pushed the bar higher for other LGBTQ folks in India and many came forward to marry their partners openly.

The central government continues to surprise me with very weak and odd arguments. 

Why is gay marriage incompatible with the Indian family unit? In a country where no one bats an eye when a human marries a tree, a dog, or a deity, why is it surprising to see two humans marrying each other?

The Centre claims that the case does not reflect the nation's views. What does "nation" mean? The BJP, or a majority of Indian citizens? One's fundamental right is not a matter of majority opinion or any acting government's opinion.

Also, it is incorrect to assume that the heterosexual majority in India today is against gay marriage. Most of the younger generation overwhelmingly supports gay rights. Except for a few relatives who assumed my gay marriage would impact their business or their children's wedding prospects, most of my generation and younger folks were extremely supportive.

The Centre also claims that the "traditional man-woman marriage" is important for raising children and for their "mental and psychological upbringing". The broader truth is that loving and caring parents (men or women) are most important for children. Many studies have proven this beyond any doubt. In fact, gay people would strive to do a better job, having taken a considered decision to raise children.

Morality and ethos are other weak arguments against gay marriage. Let's look at morality in the past, when women would be asked to perform "johar" - jump into a pyre to avoid being captured by the enemy - in parts of India. This is an extreme example, but you get the point.

Gay marriages have been legal in western countries for a long time. Have those societies collapsed? What is the Centre afraid of? 

Let me take a 10,000-foot view. Why is this even a news item? Gay marriages are not harming anyone. They enable two loving souls to get into a loving relationship and contribute positively to society. Leave the LGBTQ married people alone. Same-sex couples deserve 100 per cent equality to a "traditional marriage." Focus on bigger problems that India is facing. ChatGPT promptly lists a few - poverty, income inequality, gender inequality, corruption, education, environmental degradation, and poor sanitation to name a few. Let us focus on them.

(US-based techie Hrishikesh Sathawane married his Vietnamese partner, Vinh, in 2017 in his hometown - Yavatmal, Maharastra.)

Disclaimer: These are the personal opinions of the author.