A long-haul overnight flight earlier this year and some of us exchanged notes on how we were looking forward to a good night's snooze. The flight was on time and boarding began. As the families with kids queued up first, I realized there were at least 10 tiny humans among us. A young couple I'd just got talking to groaned, "I hope that won't mean turbulence of a certain kind mid-air." As a mother of two children, one of them under three, I winced.
But soon those fears were forgotten. The wine was good, the aircraft new and the movies great. There was little to do but enjoy the ride.
That is until we were 40-odd minutes into the air. It began as it usually does, with a baby making some occasional unhappy sounds, and it scaled up, as it usually does, into complete and total hysteria. Mum coo-ed and Dad ooh-ed, but the baby was not moved. "Try water," said a passenger behind them. "No, milk works best," volunteered another. "Take a walk with the baby in your arms," an elderly lady spoke gently. The air hostesses offered milk powder, soft toys (of unfathomable species), pillows, and blankets. But no end to the racket. The parents looked apologetic, awkward, anxious. Their baby got shriller.
People around them started getting restless, the murmurs began. "Why fly with a kid you can't manage?'', ''Ban kids from flights,
yaar, why are the rest of us suffering?" "This is why I don't have kids". That last one drew approval. My experience mum-ming has taught me that a baby having a bawl is a contagious thing and I was proved right when similar though less intense yelling began from different corners of the flight. Two other babies had joined in.
I would have felt very annoyed, if I weren't so overtaken by relief that they weren't mine.
I have taken flights with bawling toddlers and screaming infants and wished they could be deplaned - even mid-air. I have walked up and down the aisle, staring at the already embarrassed parents.
Then, I became one of those parents.
When my daughter was five months old, we took our first flight with her. I had warm milk, cold milk, water in four bottles, baby's favourite croc, elephant, lion, bird, doll. Enough medicines to rescue a few dozen children from the hazards of a tummy bug, sore throat, runny nose, fever. She enjoyed the flight; she positively gurgled through it. We celebrated, mistakenly assuming that she, our baby, the best on earth, was also the best in the sky. Our little angel.
The return flight shoved that halo right off with all the petulance of a child whose tantrum defies logic. She cried her heart out. We got "the look." I kept my eyes firmly on the baby or husband, secretly wishing I could pretend I wasn't with them. I could tell I was being judged. I felt bad for the baby and worse for me. (The husband didn't seem to care, is it a guy-girl thing I wonder.) The only sympathetic passengers were fellow parents traveling with their children and thanking their stars it wasn't them.
From then on, I adopted the guiding principle of parents who seem able to cope with everything: expect very little. With Baby No 2, I was hardly embarrassed on long, whiny flights. I even made eye contact with those giving me "the look."
Now I find myself going up to parents who haven't mastered the art of not caring to say, "It's ok, this too shall pass."
It's all been coming back to me since I read about the Quiet Zones airlines are now coming up with rows where children won't be allowed - including in rows offering more leg room. Thanks, IndiGo.
Those of us traveling with children will be clubbed together (somewhere at the rear of the aircraft I bet, close to the loos). But at least if your baby is being distinctly unangelic, those around you will sympathise, offer a helping hand and, undoubtedly, plenty of advice.
As for those of you not being discriminated against, little children can really crank it up. So unless IndiGo is offering soundproofing between your cushy seats and ours, guess what? If I'm in Hell, you will be, too.
(Natasha Jog is Senior Editor and Senior Anchor with NDTV.)Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. The facts and opinions appearing in the article do not reflect the views of NDTV and NDTV does not assume any responsibility or liability for the same.