Caitlyn Jenner in a still from the show Any Given Wednesday. (Image courtesy: YouTube )
Los Angeles:
Reality TV star Caitlyn Jenner revealed that she considered ending her life when a journalist took a photo of her coming out of a clinic after an operation on her Adam's apple.
Caitlyn, formerly known as Bruce Jenner, the Olympic gold medallist, says the journey of her gender transition was difficult especially due to the prying eyes of the media. She opened up to Bill Simmons on the latest episode of Any Given Wednesday.
Caitlyn, who was pursued by the paparazzi, assumed she could work around them, but she was wrong. "I always hated my Adam's apple; they (paparazzi) would never know (of operations)," she said.
Caitlyn said she was so scared her transition would come out in public due to the photo that she couldn't sleep all night and thought about killing herself.
"I'm up at 3 am walking up and down my hallways thinking, 'Damn, all this is going to come out tomorrow and it's going to be horrible.' And I said, 'You know what, easy way, go in the other room, you got a gun, let's just end it right here. That's like, the easy way out. No more pain, no more nothing. I don't have to deal with the tabloids any longer. I don't have to deal with any of this.' And that was probably the lowest I've ever gotten," Caitlyn said.
But she went to sleep instead.
The next morning, on a walk alone, Caitlyn Jenner, 66, said she thought to herself, "Wasn't that, like, the stupidest thing you've ever done? What a terrible way to end your life's story! I don't want my story to end that way, on a negative note."
That is when Caitlyn changed her mindset, she told the show's host.
"That was the beginning of me turning my thinking around to say, 'OK, I think I can do this'."
Caitlyn told Bill Simmons that the past one and a half years have been the "best of her life" and she had never been happier and more at ease with herself.
She added that the last time she was this happy was during the 1976 Olympics because at that time she "couldn't wait to wake up every day and get it going."
Caitlyn said transitioning has renewed her "excitement for life."
Watch:
(Except for the headline, this story has not been edited by NDTV staff and is published from a syndicated feed.)
Caitlyn, formerly known as Bruce Jenner, the Olympic gold medallist, says the journey of her gender transition was difficult especially due to the prying eyes of the media. She opened up to Bill Simmons on the latest episode of Any Given Wednesday.
Caitlyn, who was pursued by the paparazzi, assumed she could work around them, but she was wrong. "I always hated my Adam's apple; they (paparazzi) would never know (of operations)," she said.
Caitlyn said she was so scared her transition would come out in public due to the photo that she couldn't sleep all night and thought about killing herself.
"I'm up at 3 am walking up and down my hallways thinking, 'Damn, all this is going to come out tomorrow and it's going to be horrible.' And I said, 'You know what, easy way, go in the other room, you got a gun, let's just end it right here. That's like, the easy way out. No more pain, no more nothing. I don't have to deal with the tabloids any longer. I don't have to deal with any of this.' And that was probably the lowest I've ever gotten," Caitlyn said.
But she went to sleep instead.
The next morning, on a walk alone, Caitlyn Jenner, 66, said she thought to herself, "Wasn't that, like, the stupidest thing you've ever done? What a terrible way to end your life's story! I don't want my story to end that way, on a negative note."
That is when Caitlyn changed her mindset, she told the show's host.
"That was the beginning of me turning my thinking around to say, 'OK, I think I can do this'."
Caitlyn told Bill Simmons that the past one and a half years have been the "best of her life" and she had never been happier and more at ease with herself.
She added that the last time she was this happy was during the 1976 Olympics because at that time she "couldn't wait to wake up every day and get it going."
Caitlyn said transitioning has renewed her "excitement for life."
Watch:
(Except for the headline, this story has not been edited by NDTV staff and is published from a syndicated feed.)
