Shah Rukh, who turned 47 recently, is in the process of giving final touches to his autobiography.
Panaji:
He is one of India's biggestsuperstars but Bollywood actor Shah Rukh Khan says it is lonelyat the top and he is constantly fighting with the "feeling ofemptiness".
"There is something wrong in me. I sense it. I feel itbut I don't know what it is," Shah Rukh said during theThinkFest conclave, an annual event, in Goa.
"I have a beautiful family. I have a few friends withwhom I spend lot of time. I don't want to die like my father.I don't want to be unknown. I would like to be justsuccessful. Believe me it is lonely at the top."Shah Rukh, who turned 47 recently, is in the process ofgiving final touches to his autobiography.
"Somehow there is this feeling of emptiness. I have thisrestlessness, strangeness, which I fill up with my acting."The actor, who lost his father at the age of 15, recalledhow his family was always short of money in his childhood.
"Once, my father took me to show a cinema in Delhi. Hedid not have enough money. We sat near Kamati auditorium andhe told me that it is wonderful to see the vehicles passing.
"When I want to take my son out for a movie I should beable to show him the movie and not the cars," Shah Rukh said.
He has been ruling the film industry since his successfuldebut with 1992 film Deewana but Shah Rukh says he always hada fear of failure that his father went through.
"I think my father was most successful failure in theworld and I am proud of him," the actor said, adding that hisfather was a "handsome pathan".
Shah Rukh also got nostalgic about the moment when hisfather died and his body was brought home.
"My sister just collapsed and for the next two years shedid not recover from the shock. She didn't cry but she couldnot face the reality of our father's death," he said.
"A lot of things which are Bollywood-like or flamboyantin me are actually to cover up my emotions. I don't have gutsto be so simple. To avoid depression I act."Shah Rukh said that 90 per cent of the things which hedepicts in the films are experiences of his life.
Meanwhile, Shah Rukh ruled out that he was going through amidlife crisis and termed some instances of his arrogance asbeing a typical "Delhi boy.""I am a Delhi boy...," he said, during an interview atThinkFest conclave that concluded in Goa yesterday.
Shah Rukh, who allegedly slapped director Shirish Kunderduring a party and was involved in a brawl with the policemenat Wankhede Stadium in Mumbai during an IPL match, said, "I amnot going through midlife crisis. I am going through Delhiphases."
The actor also remembered how during his initial days inMumbai when he was shooting for Kabhi Haan Kabhi Na, helanded in trouble for threatening a journalist over an articlethat linked him to an actress.
"I went to the house of that journalist and threatenedhim," Shah Rukh said, adding that "next day this act of minelanded me in jail. I was allowed to make only one phone callfrom the police station. Instead of making a call to my wifeor my lawyer, I called the same journalist and threatened himagain." He termed his act as "foolishness."
Shah Rukh also said that till some time back, his daughterused to think that he was Aamir Khan."Four years back, my daughter used to think that I amAamir Khan and for my son I am always a hero," the superstarsaid.
On the occasion, Shah Rukh read out some excerpts from hisautobiography, to which he is giving final touches. Itsketches his life from childhood to stardom.
"There is something wrong in me. I sense it. I feel itbut I don't know what it is," Shah Rukh said during theThinkFest conclave, an annual event, in Goa.
"I have a beautiful family. I have a few friends withwhom I spend lot of time. I don't want to die like my father.I don't want to be unknown. I would like to be justsuccessful. Believe me it is lonely at the top."Shah Rukh, who turned 47 recently, is in the process ofgiving final touches to his autobiography.
"Somehow there is this feeling of emptiness. I have thisrestlessness, strangeness, which I fill up with my acting."The actor, who lost his father at the age of 15, recalledhow his family was always short of money in his childhood.
"Once, my father took me to show a cinema in Delhi. Hedid not have enough money. We sat near Kamati auditorium andhe told me that it is wonderful to see the vehicles passing.
"When I want to take my son out for a movie I should beable to show him the movie and not the cars," Shah Rukh said.
He has been ruling the film industry since his successfuldebut with 1992 film Deewana but Shah Rukh says he always hada fear of failure that his father went through.
"I think my father was most successful failure in theworld and I am proud of him," the actor said, adding that hisfather was a "handsome pathan".
Shah Rukh also got nostalgic about the moment when hisfather died and his body was brought home.
"My sister just collapsed and for the next two years shedid not recover from the shock. She didn't cry but she couldnot face the reality of our father's death," he said.
"A lot of things which are Bollywood-like or flamboyantin me are actually to cover up my emotions. I don't have gutsto be so simple. To avoid depression I act."Shah Rukh said that 90 per cent of the things which hedepicts in the films are experiences of his life.
Meanwhile, Shah Rukh ruled out that he was going through amidlife crisis and termed some instances of his arrogance asbeing a typical "Delhi boy.""I am a Delhi boy...," he said, during an interview atThinkFest conclave that concluded in Goa yesterday.
Shah Rukh, who allegedly slapped director Shirish Kunderduring a party and was involved in a brawl with the policemenat Wankhede Stadium in Mumbai during an IPL match, said, "I amnot going through midlife crisis. I am going through Delhiphases."
The actor also remembered how during his initial days inMumbai when he was shooting for Kabhi Haan Kabhi Na, helanded in trouble for threatening a journalist over an articlethat linked him to an actress.
"I went to the house of that journalist and threatenedhim," Shah Rukh said, adding that "next day this act of minelanded me in jail. I was allowed to make only one phone callfrom the police station. Instead of making a call to my wifeor my lawyer, I called the same journalist and threatened himagain." He termed his act as "foolishness."
Shah Rukh also said that till some time back, his daughterused to think that he was Aamir Khan."Four years back, my daughter used to think that I amAamir Khan and for my son I am always a hero," the superstarsaid.
On the occasion, Shah Rukh read out some excerpts from hisautobiography, to which he is giving final touches. Itsketches his life from childhood to stardom.
