A new trend is emerging among young adults in China. The lifestyle is called "tou gan" which means "emotional theft". The lifestyle allows people to live in secret and purposefully "derail" their lives, as per a report in the South China Morning Post. This could entail couples choosing to live in separate rooms or never disclosing their income to their mother. A few people are going so far as to create an exclusive social media profile.
The term "tou gan" describes a reclusive way of living characterised by little acts of "resistance" against the norms of daily existence. Living an unusual lifestyle has turned into a way to love who you are. Tou gan believers, for instance, may decide to leave work early to defy the prevalent cultural norm of putting in extra hours. A disciplined lifestyle of healthy eating may also be rebelled against by them by ordering takeaways.
A woman from southeastern China, a follower of this trend, says she never tells her parents how much she earns. When her mother inquires about her pay even after six years of employment, she always responds that it is 13,000 yuan. "The number is made up, but it is tethered to reality. I would never tell her the exact amount," she told the outlet.
Since her mother values savings, the woman fears that any expense will seem excessively frivolous to her mother, thus she doesn't want her to know about the monthly spending habits. "But I hardly have any savings. So 'derailing' what I tell my mother is literally a lifesaver," she said.
Many followers of this practice also prefer small spaces, where they feel they have complete control of their lives. A woman from the Guangdong province by the last name of Chang decided to move out of her boyfriend's room and live in separate rooms. "I wanted to 'steal' some personal time from our daily routine of living as a couple," she said adding that this gave her an "unprecedented sense of freedom".
Many people following "emotional theft" as a practice are finding joy in the more mundane parts of life. One of the key components of "emotional theft" is the way of life that frequently involves giving much thought to what other people may think. A 20-year-old Chinese girl who was raised in a remote area views travelling abroad as a sign of luxury. Thus, during her trip to South Korea, she shared photos on social media that were private to everyone but her.
