Kirat Assi, a London resident and radio presenter, thought she was finally going to meet the man she'd fallen in love with. They had texted each other for nine years. However, when the two came face-to-face, Ms Assi found someone she never expected. In a shocking twist, her entire relationship had been an elaborate catfishing scheme, orchestrated not by a stranger but by someone much closer — a female cousin, Simran. Now, Netflix has released a documentary, Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare, retelling this story of betrayal.
It all began in 2009 when Ms Assi got a friend request from ‘Bobby,' a supposed cardiologist from west London. Soon, it evolved into a long-distance relationship. The two shared connections within their Sikh community, which made the relationship seem genuine.
Over time, their online conversations deepened, but as years passed, their connection remained virtual, with Bobby continually giving bizarre reasons for why they couldn't meet in person. The excuses were nothing short of dramatic — claims of being shot, suffering a stroke and even entering witness protection — according to a report in BBC. However, what made these lies convincing to Ms Assi were the people she believed were corroborating his stories. They were always someone close to Bobby, or that's what she thought.
After nine years of emotional manipulation, Ms Assi finally confronted the truth — this entire thing was a hoax, and the man she thought she was in love with didn't even exist. She had been a victim of a catfishing scheme and the person behind the messages wasn't Bobby but her female cousin, Simran.
According to an article in Birmingham Live, throughout the ordeal, Ms Assi, in fact, leaned on Simran for support. However, one day, Simran dropped the bombshell, revealing to a devastated Ms Assi that she hadn't been communicating with Bobby all along — she had been speaking to Simran herself.
The discovery left Ms Assi devastated and questioning her judgement. “How could you have been so stupid?” she reflects now, according to a BBC report.
Kirat Assi's experience was first shared in a popular 2021 podcast by Tortoise, but the story has since gained renewed attention with the release of the Netflix documentary, Sweet Bobby: My Catfish Nightmare.
Ms Assi says she has faced criticism and questions, with many asking how she could fall for such a scheme. “For people who might still think I'm stupid, that's fine, you're allowed your opinion,” she told BBC Asian Network News, adding, “I'm not stupid, I'm not dumb. I'm the one that's chosen to speak. I'm the one that's put myself out in the firing line and I hope others will come forward.”
Ms Assi feels it was important to publicly tell her story, especially given the stigmas surrounding such issues in the South Asian community in the UK. Explaining how the fear of judgement often silences victims, she said, “We are so scared to open up about these issues. Because of how a community will be seen by wider society, the victims in our communities keep suffering.”
This reluctance to address uncomfortable topics was evident even in her own family. Speaking of her father's experience with the situation, Kirat Assi said, “He doesn't want to know what happened. Because to face up to what happened, and how horrific it was, it's going to be painful.”
Despite the traumatic experience, Kirat Assi remains open to having conversations about her experience, encouraging people to approach her if they have questions.
Simran, however, has not faced criminal charges for the catfishing, but Ms Assi took civil action against her, resulting in compensation and an apology. In the Netflix documentary, a statement from Simran was included where she said she views the situation as a “private matter,” rejecting the accusations made against her.
Although Kirat Assi has sought closure, she says the motivation behind Simran's deceit remains a mystery. “I think I've long given up. The extent to which that person went, you can't ever justify it. I can't understand why you didn't stop,” Ms Assi said.
Despite this, she is determined to move forward, rebuilding her life and even starting to date again. “I'm going to carry on working towards goals and dreams,” she said.
