New Delhi:
Admission process has begun for different colleges under Delhi University this week. With the cut-off marks still incredibly high in most of the colleges, our expert, Dr Sameer Malhotra, answers your queries on how to cope with the pressure of admissions.
Shalini Gupta: How do I help my 17-yr-old deal with the pressure of admissions?
Dr Sameer Malhotra, Psychotherapist: Thanks for sharing your concern. The very fact that you have asked this question reflects your concern for your teenage child. Try to be observant, supportive towards your child and well informed about the admission process. Try to keep abreast with information on courses, Universities, cut offs and the procedures. Maintain healthy communication with your child and listen to his/her views/ perspectives. Avoid confusion, panic, negative critical comments and negative comparisons. Try to keep the home environment positive and comforting. Encourage the child to seek appropriate counseling. Try to help the child if he/she is areas where he/she is facing problems viz., choice of course, University, timely filling of forms, form submissions etc. Help him/her choose the best available course as per your child's temperament and aptitude. Make sure that your child is not feeling low in confidence/anxious. Try to support the child's rational demands and choices. Help him/her to maintain focus. Avoid engaging in blame game on the system/the child. Instead, help the child to utilize energies in making the most of the available options and arriving at a rational decision/choice. Positive reassurances, helping him/her counter negative thoughts with more positive healthy ones shall help in boosting his/her self-confidence. Try not to be too rigid in terms of choice of college. Do keep 3-4 options with respect to the course/college open. Do not let him/her feel as a failure if he/she cannot make it to a particular college. As I often say, it is not what you choose, but what you make out of it that matters. If despite all these efforts, you feel that your child is quite nervous/low in mood, has disturbed sleep, is not eating well, then do not hesitate in seeking timely professional help. All the best wishes to you and your child.
Ridhi Jaiswal: Sir, what's your take on the quota system? Unfair practice...would you agree?
Dr Sameer Malhotra, Psychotherapist: There should not be any shortcuts to dedicated hard work. Those deserving on the basis of hard work and merit need to get their due positions and placements. Any behavior that is rewarded grows. Fee waiver should be considered for economically poorer sections.
Tisha: If I make it through, say to the 4th college of my preference, in the first cut-off list and not make it through to the 1st, 2nd and 3rd preference colleges, should I take admission or should I go in for a vocational course?
Dr Sameer Malhotra, Psychotherapist: My suggestions to you are: Do not compromise on the course. Choose course over the college. See to it that the University and the course are recognized. Keep an eye on the cut offs and subsequent lists as well. Delhi University runs an option to withdraw later. Best wishes.
Ankur: Sir, despite strict norms on ragging....it remains my worst nightmare. I'm a nervous student and losing sleep over how I will deal with it. Pls advise
Dr Sameer Malhotra, Psychotherapist: Now the colleges and Universities are quite aware and sensitized towards the issue. On one hand healthy interactions amongst students of different batches are welcome; on the other hand negative critical comments, humiliation, abuse in the name of ragging are considered as an offense. Do not hesitate in reporting the event confidentially. In each college there is a cell/group/procedure set up to look into the issue. Issue of abuse is meant to be dealt with firmly. In the initial days of joining college, avoid secluded places, avoid being alone, and resist pressures of seniors to take you to a secluded place in the name of interaction. They cannot force you into using any drug/smoke/alcohol in the name of interaction. You have the right to raise your voice. There is a difference between assertion and aggression. No need to feel that nervous. Take some interaction in a healthy manner. Maintain your cool. Rather think about positive interactions that you shall be having with fellow students joining from different parts of the country and abroad. Think about the positive feel of now going to the University/College.
Malini Bandopadhya: Sir, what's your take on the unreasonable cut-offs at DU?
Dr Sameer Malhotra, Psychotherapist: Competition is inherent in human survival. Yes, hard work should be recognized and duly rewarded. When it comes to career choices and courses geared towards the same, all deserving candidates have a right to pursue the career course that matches their aptitude and makes them feel worthy and somewhat satisfied. The challenge grows with rising population, less seats versus students ratio. Demand and supply need to be balanced and matched. It shall require a multi-pronged approach incl. increasing the no. of seats, some uniformity in the examination system and markings of 12th papers across different boards/Universities.
O P Gulati: Professional courses versus conventional ones. What's a better choice?
Dr Sameer Malhotra, Psychotherapist: Dear Mr Gulati, it depends on the need, context, temperament, choice and perspective.
Shalini Gupta: How do I help my 17-yr-old deal with the pressure of admissions?
Dr Sameer Malhotra, Psychotherapist: Thanks for sharing your concern. The very fact that you have asked this question reflects your concern for your teenage child. Try to be observant, supportive towards your child and well informed about the admission process. Try to keep abreast with information on courses, Universities, cut offs and the procedures. Maintain healthy communication with your child and listen to his/her views/ perspectives. Avoid confusion, panic, negative critical comments and negative comparisons. Try to keep the home environment positive and comforting. Encourage the child to seek appropriate counseling. Try to help the child if he/she is areas where he/she is facing problems viz., choice of course, University, timely filling of forms, form submissions etc. Help him/her choose the best available course as per your child's temperament and aptitude. Make sure that your child is not feeling low in confidence/anxious. Try to support the child's rational demands and choices. Help him/her to maintain focus. Avoid engaging in blame game on the system/the child. Instead, help the child to utilize energies in making the most of the available options and arriving at a rational decision/choice. Positive reassurances, helping him/her counter negative thoughts with more positive healthy ones shall help in boosting his/her self-confidence. Try not to be too rigid in terms of choice of college. Do keep 3-4 options with respect to the course/college open. Do not let him/her feel as a failure if he/she cannot make it to a particular college. As I often say, it is not what you choose, but what you make out of it that matters. If despite all these efforts, you feel that your child is quite nervous/low in mood, has disturbed sleep, is not eating well, then do not hesitate in seeking timely professional help. All the best wishes to you and your child.
Ridhi Jaiswal: Sir, what's your take on the quota system? Unfair practice...would you agree?
Dr Sameer Malhotra, Psychotherapist: There should not be any shortcuts to dedicated hard work. Those deserving on the basis of hard work and merit need to get their due positions and placements. Any behavior that is rewarded grows. Fee waiver should be considered for economically poorer sections.
Tisha: If I make it through, say to the 4th college of my preference, in the first cut-off list and not make it through to the 1st, 2nd and 3rd preference colleges, should I take admission or should I go in for a vocational course?
Dr Sameer Malhotra, Psychotherapist: My suggestions to you are: Do not compromise on the course. Choose course over the college. See to it that the University and the course are recognized. Keep an eye on the cut offs and subsequent lists as well. Delhi University runs an option to withdraw later. Best wishes.
Ankur: Sir, despite strict norms on ragging....it remains my worst nightmare. I'm a nervous student and losing sleep over how I will deal with it. Pls advise
Dr Sameer Malhotra, Psychotherapist: Now the colleges and Universities are quite aware and sensitized towards the issue. On one hand healthy interactions amongst students of different batches are welcome; on the other hand negative critical comments, humiliation, abuse in the name of ragging are considered as an offense. Do not hesitate in reporting the event confidentially. In each college there is a cell/group/procedure set up to look into the issue. Issue of abuse is meant to be dealt with firmly. In the initial days of joining college, avoid secluded places, avoid being alone, and resist pressures of seniors to take you to a secluded place in the name of interaction. They cannot force you into using any drug/smoke/alcohol in the name of interaction. You have the right to raise your voice. There is a difference between assertion and aggression. No need to feel that nervous. Take some interaction in a healthy manner. Maintain your cool. Rather think about positive interactions that you shall be having with fellow students joining from different parts of the country and abroad. Think about the positive feel of now going to the University/College.
Malini Bandopadhya: Sir, what's your take on the unreasonable cut-offs at DU?
Dr Sameer Malhotra, Psychotherapist: Competition is inherent in human survival. Yes, hard work should be recognized and duly rewarded. When it comes to career choices and courses geared towards the same, all deserving candidates have a right to pursue the career course that matches their aptitude and makes them feel worthy and somewhat satisfied. The challenge grows with rising population, less seats versus students ratio. Demand and supply need to be balanced and matched. It shall require a multi-pronged approach incl. increasing the no. of seats, some uniformity in the examination system and markings of 12th papers across different boards/Universities.
O P Gulati: Professional courses versus conventional ones. What's a better choice?
Dr Sameer Malhotra, Psychotherapist: Dear Mr Gulati, it depends on the need, context, temperament, choice and perspective.
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