Police released this photo of Yasir Ahmed, accused of killing DGP Hemant Lohia in Jammu.
From songs about separation to lists about hating life, to a longing for death — notes in a personal diary of the 23-year-old domestic help who allegedly murdered a top police officer in Jammu reveals a depressed mind, police sources said.
"Dear death, come into my life," says one of his notes. "I'm sorry I am having bad day, week, month, year, life," says another.
Yasir Ahmed had been working for the last six months for Hemant Lohia, 57, director general of prisons in Jammu and Kashmir, whom he's accused of having killed by slitting his throat on Monday night. He was arrested today after a search. Police have so far found no terror link.
A diary that police say belongs to him carries songs in Hindi, one of them from 'Ashiqui 2': "Bhula dena mujhe, hai alvida tujhe ('Forget me, I say goodbye')."
Other pages are filled with short notes — "I hate my life", "Life is just grief..." — and one has a chart that starts with a drawing of a phone battery labelled "My Life 1%".
"Love 0%, Tension 90%, Sad 99%, Fake Smile 100%," it reads further.
Another note titled 'Life' — exact date of writing not known — reads: "Mai jasi life je raha hoon, mujhe us sa koi problem nahi hai... Problem is baat se hai, aagay hamara kaya hoga ('I have no problem with the life I'm leading; the problem is with what might happen in the future')."
One of Yasir Ahmed's photos, apparently from his social media posts, that police released to get clues.
Police investigation so far says Yasir Ahmed, a native of Ramban, was "quite aggressive in his behaviour and was also under depression".
"No terror act is apparent in the initial inquiry; but a thorough probe is on to rule out possibilities," the police have stressed, slamming "uncorroborated stories".
The murder came at a time when Union Home Minister Amit Shah is visiting the union territory.
Hemant Lohia, an Indian Police Service (IPS) officer of the 1992 batch, got his latest posting just two months ago. He was staying with his family at a friend's house while an official house for him was being furnished.