One of the major reasons behind the students' poor mental health in India's coaching hub Kota that often prompts them to take extreme steps is "parents telling them there is no going back", the police and district officials said as record student suicides rock "Kota factory".
Top coaching institutes also claimed that a majority of parents refuse to accept feedback and want their children to continue preparing for engineering and medical entrance exams anyway.
The comments came on a day when a 16-year-old NEET aspirant allegedly died by suicide in her hostel room in the city. She is the 23rd Kota student to have died in this manner, the highest number for any year. Last year, the figure was 15.
From reaching out to parents about possible signs of depression in their children, no aptitude for the particular subject or career, and their inability to live away from home, the police and coaching institutes said that their communications to parents are often met with resistance and a majority of them refuse to accept these.
"Amid our interactions with the students, we found a student who was visibly depressed. I decided to call his father. His response was: 'Ye to auron ko depress kar de. Aisa kuch nai hain (He can depress others. This is nothing)'. The father refused to accept there is an issue which needs his attention or intervention," senior Kota police officer Chandrasheel Thakur told news agency PTI.
"When I insisted him to come and take his son home for a few days, the man kept giving me excuses abiut not get a train reservation so soon. Only after I threatened him with an FIR did he agree to come. But I was left thinking that if it took me so long to convince him, certainly his son did not stand a chance... Parents tell their own children that there is no going back," he added.
Mr Thakur heads a students' cell to reach out to students and make attempts to detect early signs of stress and depression.
A representative of a top coaching institute who did not wish to be identified told PTI, "In the last one year, we have reached out to over 50 parents telling them clearly that their child is not fit for this exercise and needs to be with them. At least 40 of them did not agree to take their child back home or withdraw from coaching. Others who paid some heed to the advice, withdrew from our coaching but shifted them to other institutes. Such is the rigidity."
"We also organise counselling sessions and activities for parents but the attendance during such initiatives is very low. Parents often cite their inability to travel due to engagements or financial issues," he said.
Over 2.5 lakh students move to Kota annually to prepare for competitive exams such as the Joint Entrance Exam (JEE) for engineering and the National Eligibility-cum-Entrance Test (NEET) for admission to medical colleges.
Packed schedules, cut-throat competition, constant pressure to do better, the burden of their parents' expectations and homesickness are among the common struggles of the students here.
Kota District Collector OP Bunkar said parents have genuine intent behind sending their children to the coaching hub but they should be ready to accept and act if their child is not able to cope for any reason.
"We often hear parents saying that we have spent so much money. Many deposit fees after lot of struggle. So it often becomes hard for them to accept the reality. They believe that their child can do it but is not doing it intentionally or is not working hard enough. Students often are not able to convince their parents or when they communicate their concerns, they are not heard. This is a huge contributing factor to stress among students," he told PTI.
Authorities in Kota asked coaching institutes to stop conducting routine tests of students preparing for NEET and other competitive exams for the next two months amid rising suicides.
Psychiatrist Dr Neena Vijyvargia who counsels coaching students at the Health Mind Clinic, said many parents believe their children are "acting" when he reports their inability to perform or stress.
"I call parents, they say: "Ye natak kar raha hoga (he must be acting)". They are not ready to believe that not becoming a doctor or engineer is not a sign of failure. Parents don't realise that motivating their children or pushing them to do better is one thing and pushing them to the brim is another," she said.
