Folks, Please Behave Yourselves This Holi. You Know Who You Are

Arre, it is that time of the year again when being wet is not an option - only because no one asks you before they throw water balloons at you from afar, hiding behind their walls and balconies. It is the time of the year that we have our annual bout of love for Vaseline which we religiously run all over in case some hard-core chemical induced color finds its way to our body, as it probably will.

It is the time of the year, when people happily screech "Arrey yaar, bura matt maano, Holi hai!"

Only, this time, we are offended. And for good measure.

Every year, around Holi, social media is abuzz with conversations spun around sexual harassment, misconduct, eve-teasing, and the absolute riot (not meant in a good way) the festival brings along with it.

Poor Holi though, what has the festival done to ask for such vilification anyway? In the Braj region of India, it is celebrated to commemorate the love of Radha and Krishna; in wider mythological context, it is a festival celebrated to remember Prince Prahlaad's victory over his scheming aunt Holika, who tried to set the child on fire. The colors that we now dread were once made from tree barks and leaves, healthy for the skin, if anything.

So with the change in time and the way of life, where is the festivity in this festival after all, anymore?

I can't remember the last time I played Holi; for years now, it is just another day I get to sleep late. Who wants to partake in a couple of hours of forced fun, and then spend five hours bathing anyway?

All these past years, Holi ends with a series of news stories of sexual misconduct that were 'normalised' in the name of the festivities. Then there is the whole conversation about how Bollywood has a huge hand in normalising harassment during Holi. Well, Bollywood also tells you that if you chase a girl down an airport and sing a song she will forego her admission at a top tier college, miss her plane and be with you but that shit isn't happening now, is it?

Only yesterday there was some news about a semen-filled balloon thrown at a girl from Delhi University. What is that?

But even if you talk at a very basic level, dragging someone out of their house when they have expressly told you that they do NOT want to indulge in the festivities, is also harassment; throwing water balloons at unsuspecting people passing by is also harassment. And touching some inappropriately under the garb of "rang lagaana" is out and out harassment.

So while you are busy gorging on gujiyas, helping your kids fill up their ammo of water balloons for tomorrow, or prepping with outrageous and poisonous colors, remember that it is a festival and not one to promote bad behaviour. Teach your kids what Holi really means, and how it is a fun-filled, love-filled festival to be enjoyed with friends and family...without bothering people on the streets.

And men, behave yourself already.

Kyunki, hum bura maantey hai.