How I Stopped Smoking A Pack A Day. It Took 2 Hours On Skype

I went from a 30 cigarette a day habit to zero in the space of two hours. I'm not even slightly kidding.

I actually hated smoking when I first started. It was my first few months in college and I thought nothing in the world looked cooler than a casually held cigarette dangling from a hand when we were being our earnest, pompous best (and as we know there are few more pompous than a newly-minted college student). There was no point to learning poetry in my English honours class unless I could recite it with languid puffs punctuating each line (iambic pentameter but obviously (blank verse was a year later)). How could I prove I had come of age without this hot new accessory? Except for the fact that I found the actual taste of said ciggies so foul that my nostrils would reflexively flare in disgust every time I took a drag.

And still, that managed to be the starting point for a 22-year habit. Such is the utter absurdity of the smoker. We know we're idiots, we really really do. Everything you lecture us about? Every statistic, every life-threatening possibility? We're way ahead of you. That miasma of stale smoke that surrounds us? We hate that too. And we still f**king love it.

Its now been 9 months and 3 days (not that I'm counting) since I last took a puff and I still f**king love it. I won't take another but God I f**king love it.

Sure, we huff our ways up a single flight of stairs. Sure, we wake up at 3 am routinely convinced that that heart attack could happen Any. Minute. Now. Sure, we have to scarper out of every meeting so we can fit in a smoke. It doesn't matter.

Because that's the thing: smoking is the greatest thing in the world even when it isn't. The cigarette is and can be, as pathetic as it sounds, friend, companion, distractor, prop for the socially awkward, time-filler, appetite suppressant, stress-buster, coffee accompaniment, even laxative. It's the stuff.

I had thought of quitting for years. I would meet friends and family members who'd all done it. I would pick their brains and waited in vain for that moment of epiphany to happen. That morning when I would miraculously decide I was done and throw my pack away. Spoiler alert: it never came. I met Ranbir Kapoor and he had quit. Twice! Granted he started again, but this young fit star, top of his game, was able to do it, felt the need to do it. What was my excuse? And so I pored over books, I tried hypnotherapy, I spent so many 3 am moments swearing that that morning would be the one. Nothing worked. And then I tried hypnotherapy again.

I had no real reason for believing this time would be any different, especially since this session wasn't even being done in person. Yup, amongst the twenty-first century statements I never thought I'd make: I quit smoking by getting hypnotized over Skype. And it worked. Who'd a thunk? I started the conversation with a cigarette in my hand and two hours later I found myself collecting all the ashtrays, the lighters and cigarettes I had promised my hypnotherapist I had thrown out and handing them to my guard outside. It's a strange business. I talked (exhaustively), answered every question that was asked of me with probably 10 times the detail that was required and was essentially hypnotized long distance. I was asked to lie back, relax and just listen. I got the giggles a few times, was alert, aware and was, in fact, convinced it wasn't working. I even wondered I should break it to him then or give it a few. Instead, I hung up and then thought I'd just give it a try. And each time I thought of a cigarette (which was all the time), I thought I'll just give it a try. And I sat there in a panic not knowing what to do with myself. But I didn't smoke.

Over the next few days, I went a little crazy. My home had never been tidier (probably never will be again). I nibbled in between meals like it was a competitive sport and my scales started groaning in new and unusual ways. But I didn't smoke.

Still haven't, and yes, still counting. So what worked and why I am boring you with it?

Because sometimes something works even when you think it shouldn't. Literally, nobody who knew me thought I could ever quit. And here I am (sorry, I can't say it enough!). So no matter how outlandish it may sound go for it: the homoeopath around the corner; the health farm that they tuck you into for a fortnight or six; acupuncture; a clinical hypnotherapist sitting a continent away with high-speed broadband.

Maybe, just give it a try?

P.S. And yes, there are good odds that I will be booking a new session, this time for weight loss. Possibly nail biting. My fear of heights. Who knows, maybe this will be my new addiction!

(Aneesha Baig is NDTV's Lifestyle Editor and Anchor, Will Travel For Food)

Disclaimer: The opinions expressed within this article are the personal opinions of the author. The facts and opinions appearing in the article do not reflect the views of NDTV and NDTV does not assume any responsibility or liability for the same.