Woman Backs Out of Sister's Destination Wedding After Learning Her Family Must Pay While Groom's Attends for Free

A woman refused to attend her sister's destination wedding because the bride expected her side of the family to cover the travel costs. In a lengthy post on Reddit's "Am I the A--" forum, a woman shared her dilemma regarding her younger sister Katie, 28, who is set to marry her fiance Chris, 29, in an extravagant four-day wedding in Dubai this April.

The wedding will have 70 guests, and Katie has requested that her sister and parents stay in the same luxury hotel as the couple and their wedding party. The groom and his family will also be staying there. Additionally, flights alone are expected to cost nearly $4,000.

Although the OP (original poster) described Katie and Chris as financially well-off, the bride-to-be recently asked her family for a $17,000 loan, claiming the wedding venue had raised its rates. "She stressed it would be a loan paid over time," the OP wrote, adding that she agreed to contribute $7,000 while their parents covered the remaining $10,000.

However, the OP later discovered that the money was not for the venue but to cover the groom's family's travel expenses. "They saw how much it was going to be, didn't want to pay, and refused to come otherwise," she revealed.

When the OP questioned why her sister and Chris were covering his family's costs but not theirs, Katie responded, "Because they can afford it."

"She became very defensive and said this was the fairest solution she could come up with, adding that wedding planning is already stressful. But when I asked, 'If you truly believed this was the fairest way, why did you lie and say the $17K was for the venue?' she had no answer," the OP wrote.

While their parents are disappointed by Katie's dishonesty, they still plan to attend the wedding. The OP, however, has decided to back out. "Katie and Chris keep calling, asking me to come, saying I'm making them feel bad and ruining their day. But the whole thing just feels wrong to me," she explained.

She ended her post by asking fellow Redditors, "Am I being an [a--] here? Should I just suck it up and go?"

AITA for refusing to go to my sisters wedding after finding out only our side of the family were having to pay to attend?
byu/One_Change4503 inAmItheAsshole

Many commenters sided with the OP, criticizing the couple's actions. "Wait a second. Not only are they not paying for your parents, they're making your parents pay for his? That's like a double whammy," one user pointed out.

"If it was important to have the families there, then why are they doing this extravagant wedding...4 days!!...in Dubai, of all places? Why not someplace closer and less expensive for travel. It sounds like you're all in the UK, so there are lots of great countries nearby that would have beautiful venues," another user wrote. 

"I agree. It's unfortunate that they felt the need to have such an extravagant destination wedding when a local, or closer, wedding could be just as lovely. And it's hard to have fun and celebrate when a huge loan is hanging over head," the third user wrote. 

In an update, the OP later shared a possible theory for why her sister and fiance are covering his family's travel expenses but not their own.

"I'm obviously not privy to their financial situation, but based on what little Katie has mentioned, Chris and his family grew up very poor," she wrote. "My guess is that when his family said they couldn't afford to attend, he panicked, worried people would question their absence, and didn't want to admit that either they or he couldn't pay for it."

She went on to say that if this were the case, it only frustrated her more. "It just makes me more mad that they didn't plan ahead and discuss with friends and family what they could afford before booking a wedding in Dubai."

Regardless of the reason, the OP said she is struggling to move past her sister's dishonesty.

"Honestly, if she had been upfront and explained the situation and why they needed $17K, I'd have been pissed and wouldn't have loaned it-but we weren't their only option. They could have taken out a loan," she commented. "It still would have been unfair, but at least it would have been their money, and I would have still gone to the wedding."