Alias: Naming the Stars

Would a star by any other name shine as bright? We're playing the name game with our favourite Bollywooders. Ahead, our nicknames for SRK, Ash and gang.

Till she gets rid of her annoying habit we're going to call Aishwarya Rai Bachchan - Giggly

Shah Rukh Khan really should kick his smoking habit but till that time he's going to be: The Chimney

We think Katrina Kaif looks like a doll and not always in a good way - plastic smile, same expression different day – we're going to go with: Barbie

After his Saawariya turn, what else could we call Ranbir Kapoor but: Toweliya

She's lately been trading insults with Priyanka and we cant remember the last time we saw her smile. Kareena Kapoor is: Sulk Smitha

We have only two words for Amitabh Bachchan: Big Daddy

Hrithik Roshan's got the moves baby, he's got the motion, when he shakes a leg he definitely causes a commotion. He's: Footloose

Vidya Balan is expanding back to her curvier self. We hate to be mean, but we can't resist christening her: The Incredible Bulk (Photo courtesy:FHM)

Always working, Aamir Khan puts in triple duty as actor, director and producer. Don't call us, call him: Circuit

We think Shahid Kapoor's a real cutie, and apparently so does someone else. We'll give you a hint with our name for him: Pork Chops

Still don't get it? Dark horse Priyanka Chopra never lets on about her life away from the camera. We'll call her: Ziplock

Sonakshi Sinha's been consigned to playing the village belle always by dad Shatrughan so we'll give her a name that might make her fortune as Rahul did for SRK: Bindu

Abhishek Bachchan, husband to an overly accomplished wife is: Mr Ash

Salman Khan never misses a chance to take his shirt off. We designate him: Nanga Tyagi

Imran Khan had barely a couple of hits before it was “jhat mangni, pat shaadi” with girlfriend Avantika. As a wedding present we give him the epithet: Speedy Gonzales

Deepika Padukone chose Bollywood over badminton but her habit of constantly being on the look out for Mr Next makes her: The Shuttler

Rani Mukherjee is sweet as sugar and just a little bit twisted. We think a good name for her is: Jalebi

After taking on Ash and Shobhaa De, Sonam Kapoor's motor mouth is a weapon of mass destruction. We'll call her: Jaws

Akshay Kumar has outlived the Khiladi tag, especially now that he's failed to score at the box office with his last few films. How about: Tees Maar Can't

Mum's the word for Sushmita Sen and her growing brood of little girls. She's going to be: Madonna

Saif Ali Khan is a daddy thrice over – to Sara, to Ibrahim and to, ahem, Kareena who's a whole decade younger than he is. But he's no fuddy duddy, he's: Faddy Daddy

Kajol can talk. And talk. And talk some more. And then talk again. Could she be anything but: Jabberwocky

In contrast, husband Ajay Devgn is serially tightlipped. Gol Maal is all very well, but please Ajay: Bol Daal

Vivek Oberoi used to be a successful actor once upon a time. Now he is: The Artist Formerly Known As Prince

Shilpa Shetty is not badnaam, oh no. But after looting UP and Bihar, she could only be: Munni

Bipasha Basu's hotness level is volcanic. Plus, she plans to be the next action star. We've got just the name for her: Lava Croft

Bubbly Preity Zinta is full of life and usually a barrel of laughs. Reminds us of: Basanti

We like that Abhay Deol is adventurous and little bit quirky in his choice of roles. He gets to be: Chirkut Pandey

John Abraham lost his jeans in Dostana and gave us an eyeful of his underpants, sunny side up. That makes him the: Yellow Submarine