Ratnam lost her son Anji, who was only 28 years old
This year's Dusshera turned into a day of mourning in Lugayapally Thanda in Telangana's Medak district. That day, Anji Naik, who was only 28, committed suicide by drinking pesticide in this tribal hamlet.
Anji was hard working, says his mother Ratnam, but his repeated attempts to sow paddy, beans and maize failed; his failed efforts left him heartbroken, and also with a loan of Rs 3 lakh.
"I told him we will survive but he said, 'how will I repay the loan?' How will my granddaughter, grandson and my daughter-in-law survive," Ratnam says, before breaking down into uncontrollable sobs.
Anji was a resident of Gajwel, the constituency of Chief Minister K Chandrasekhar Rao, and he is among the 64 farmers who reportedly committed suicide in Medak district this kharif season. Across the state, 348 farmers have reportedly killed themselves in the five months since the KCR-led Telangana Rashtra Samithi took charge of the new state.
Everywhere, farmers seem to have the same story to share.
Lachchi Reddy, a resident of Medak's Thimmakpally village, where four farmers have killed themselves this season, asks, "How should we live? What should we eat?"
"There is no electricity. I sowed seeds three times, it failed. The fourth time, it yielded a poor crop. It rained only once a month. There is neither food for us nor fodder for cattle. KCR said (during the election campaign) loans up to Rs one lakh would be waived. But we could not even get Rs 10,000 loan from the bank," she says.
Everywhere in Telangana, we saw parched lands and dried up fields of maize, cotton and paddy. Most borewells had no water; in the few ones which did, there was no electricity to draw water.
The state government acknowledges that there is a crisis, but insists that it cannot be blamed.
Agriculture Minister Pocharam Srinivas has claimed that the government has tried to do its best. Farmer suicides, he says, is happening in the "entire country" due to "natural calamity, less rainfall, crop damage".
"We have asked collectors to submit reports (on the suicides),'' he said.
P Srihari Rao, a social activist who filed a Public Interest Litigation in the Andhra Pradesh High Court to seek help for the families of farmers who have committed suicide, points out that farmers who have only losses to carry forward, need to survive till October next year.
"The government should treat this as more than a national disaster. It should declare an agricultural emergency in Telangana. Unless public and private loans are waived and some confidence-building measures are taken, suicide deaths will continue," he says.