As the patients infected by the highly infectious coronavirus are being treated and cared for daily by dedicated doctors and nurses whose jobs entail a lot of sacrifices, KP Mendoza, an ICU nurse at a hospital in New York shared his experience about what it is like to be on the frontline of the COVID-19 battle. He started his nursing programme in 2018.
In a Facebook post, Mr Mendoza considered writing a will due to the chances of death being "statistically more plausible" than he had ever imagined.
Mr Mendoza wrote about how ICU nurses are trained "to be precise" while treating the patients.
"We medicate, we titrate, we sedate, we paralyze, we help intubate. We wash your body, clothe you, feed you, and make you comfortable. We enter that room more than anyone else. People have lauded me as a hero, a superhero to some, an angel even - that I am brave and courageous, that my patients are lucky to have me," the nurse wrote.
In addition to the primary care of coronavirus patients, Mr Mendoza also faces other despairing moments when he helps his patients make video calls to their families for what may be their last moment together.
"I am lucky if I even have time to put ointment on your chapped lips as you lay comatose, moments before I FaceTime your family and they see you for the first time since leaving for the hospital, breathing tube now in your mouth, feeding tube plunging into your nose, a slight drool, and maybe some blood here and there that I just can't seem to stifle. And who am I to steal that sacred moment away from you and your family? Who am I to be privy to the sanctity of that final reunion? It feels like a sin. I am ashamed."
Mr Mendoza also highlighted the concern about the personal protective equipment (PPE) he has been given to use while working with COVID-19 patients in the ICU.
"I want people to know that healthcare in America is broken. We did not prepare enough; New York is a sore example of that."
The nurse also wrote about how the pandemic is "poignantly and painfully demonstrating" the "faults" in the US medical system.
New York state has borne the brunt of America's fast-spreading pandemic, accounting for almost half of fatalities from the crisis in the United States.
The nurse said people can laud the continuous efforts of the medical staff around the world but "cheers do not change the outcome." He also posted a plea that "we change what we can after all this is over."
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