A YouTuber recently embarked on a new chapter of his life as a transgender man. Ash Perez, a member of the online content creators community Try Guys, documented his journey of exploration of masculinity in a video series called New Guy Tries. While some aspects of Perez's experience as a transgender man were specific to his quest to define masculinity for himself, there were moments when even his friends - some gay, some straight and cis-gendered - also shared their concepts of masculinity. They were able to sort out some of their thoughts, thanks to the series.
Ryan Garcia, a cisgender male cast member of the series, shared, “There was never really time to stop and reflect on where I belong in masculinity. It was just doing the things to fit in and be accepted. Being in this series with Ash was kind of a form of therapy where you stopped and actually reflected.”
Ash Perez's coming-out journey taught him and some of the other Try Guys a lot about masculinity and how to accept its positive aspects while pushing it beyond its conventional bounds.
Before starting his gender transition, Perez lost his father to the Covid-19 pandemic, so he had to learn how to be a man without parental supervision. He said, “It's almost impossible to figure out what manhood means in the absence of a father figure who has some knowledge or direct take on manhood.”
During the video series, Perez spent time talking and participating in masculine rites of passage with his male friends and coworkers on manhood and masculinity. He observed his friends found it difficult to fit into the narrow criteria society gave them. According to Perez, many of his friends and coworkers felt inadequate because the social ideal of a guy was centred around sports, meat, muscles, and earning money.
Perez stated one can start by looking inward if one wants to figure out how to be comfortable with one's own masculinity.
“You can have conversations with yourself. You can journal. You can begin to examine things yourself, and then start to slowly branch out in a way that feels safe for you,” he said.
